Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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