Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
