Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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