I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize