how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
