Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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