2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize