and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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