If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
