i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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