Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
