I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
