i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
