eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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