uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
im calling her cock vulture from now on
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
