her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
