For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
