Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Houston, we have a squirter
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
