I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize