I heard we made out
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
