I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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