if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
