what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
