She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
