On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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