nut hugger
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
