HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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