She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
