the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
