i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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