yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Also, beer. Big fan.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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