I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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