I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize