yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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