We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Houston, we have a blender
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
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Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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