I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize