You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
