I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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