The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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