GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize