drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
