i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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