When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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