Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize