Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
