You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
