i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
