please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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