I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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