Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
