Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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