Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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