Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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