I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
