Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
