the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
