Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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