wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
