I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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