i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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