Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
