i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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