had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
