Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
