is your mom at the bar?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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