Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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