Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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