I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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